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National News

New York City Cowards Step Aside – Chillicothe Ohio to host KSM trial and Lead USA War on Terror

January 30, 2010 Staff

(Chillicothe, Ohio) Ucs News: In a stunning turn of events the terror trial of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed will be relocated to the small town of Chillicothe Ohio. Chillicothe Mayor Joseph Sulzer confirmed in a hastily [Read more]

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National News

Orrin Hatch Declares War on Heath Care Reform and Uninsured Americans

January 30, 2010 Staff

(Washington D.C.) UCS News: Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) is so against helping uninsured Americans he has declared war. “It is going to be outright war and it should be.” Hatch said. According to staffers Senator [Read more]

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Washington

Biden To Obama: "Yes We Can?"

January 29, 2010 Staff

(Washington-DC) After President Obama’s State of The Union speech, Vice President Joe Biden exhibited what some believe is not his best asset to the administration, speaking. At the opening of a cow manure methane conversion [Read more]

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National News

Senator Scott Brown's Assailants Arrested

January 29, 2010 Staff

(Washington D.C.) Unconfirmed sources are reporting that suspects are in custody for the mugging of Senator elect of Massachusetts, Scott Brown. Brown was attacked several days ago and his health insurance card was stolen. The [Read more]

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Washington

GOP to Honor James O'Keefe for Break in at Sen. Mary Landrieu's Offices

January 27, 2010 Staff

(Washington D.C.) GOP lawmakers rallied around James O’Keefe today to show support for the young operative who was arrested yesterday doing the GOP’s bidding. O’Keefe and three fellow co-conspirators where arrested while trying to tap [Read more]

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National News

Steve Jobs' Apple Tablet Announcement Blamed for San Francisco and Cupertino Power Outages

January 27, 2010 Staff

(San Francisco) Unconfirmed sources are reporting that a rash of blackouts in Cupertino and San Francisco overnight were caused by Apple. Sources indicate that the problems were created by the extensive use of the vaunted [Read more]

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Business News

NASA Picks Shuttle Trader Magizine to Sell Off Space Shuttles

January 26, 2010 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that NASA has decided sell off the fleet of Space Shuttles after the program concludes in the coming months. NASA has chosen the private service Shuttle Trader Magazine to handle the sale [Read more]

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National News

Senator Elect Scott Brown Resting Comfortably After Vicious Mugging

January 26, 2010 Staff

(Washington D.C.) Unconfirmed sources are reporting that Scott Brown, the upset winner of the Senate seat formerly held by Ted Kennedy, has been mugged while visiting the Capital. The attackers, numbering at least four, knocked [Read more]

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National News

Mitch McConnell Arrested : Senator Caught Filibustering Underage Girl

January 26, 2010 Staff

(Washington D.C.) Ucs News: The nations capital awoke to a shocking news report. According to Washington D.C. Police Republican Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky was arrested in the company of a young women. The official [Read more]

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National News

Sarah Palin Vows to Continue McCain's Legacy of Campaign Finance Reform

January 25, 2010 Staff

(Washington D.C.) Former Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin announced her plans to pursue campaign finance reform. Following the “outrageous” Supreme court ruling Palin stated “The Roberts court has ruled well beyond precedent, I can’t stand [Read more]