4th of July Stats are in: Vacations Down, Staycations Up, Oblications Hold Steady

(Washington) The National Tourism Board has released it official statistics for the 4th of July weekend and to the surprise of no one the number of Americans taking staycations has skyrocketed. Staycations, the practice of telling people you will be out of town for the weekend and then staying home, have seen a massive increase his year. Higher gas prices are believed to be the main reason behind the increase.

“The numbers just don’t look good for the traditional tourist areas,” says NTB spokesman Stan N. Town. “The effects of higher gas prices are really showing up for the first time in the summer vacation season. On the bright side, movie rentals, video game purchases, and local ice cream sales are way up, these are activities commonly associated with the well planned staycation.”

The good news for vacation areas, hidden in the gloomy statistics, is the surprising strength of the oblication sector. Oblications, the vacation that one must take against one’s wishes to promote familial peace and harmony, are rock steady. It seems the only people who are traveling are the ones going to visit the in-laws.

“I didn’t want to go,” says Jennifer Homely, married mother of two, “But Brad’s mother, Brad is my husband, will blow a gasket if she doesn’t get a chance to see her grand babies. The least they could do is visit us once and while, instead of making us spend the money on gas and crummy hotels to come spend time with them between golf games.”

The place Ms. Homely finds herself in is being repeated nation wide as oblication rates remain steady at about 16%.