Unconfirmed sources report that not all of the US Congress has been corrupted by Washington lobbyists. In response to the growing criticism of the GOP, Republican Party chairmen Ken Mehlmen felt the American people needed to meet some honest GOP members. In a Press conference held at the D.C. Biltmore Hotel Mehlmen identified the 6 Republican Senators NOT tainted by the Jack Abramoff bribery scandal. “These men are fine examples for the other 267 Republican officials to follow.” said Mehlmen.
Mehlmen and the 6 Congressmen introduced themselves and explained in detail how none of them had any dealings with Jack Abramoff or his crooked lobbying firm.
After the press conference White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan stated that the President was a little disappointed with the event. According to McClellan the President was sure that at least 9 Republicans were honest and vowed to spend the rest of his term tracking them down.
Critics of the event noted that the 6 officials not involved with of the Abramoff scandal were not entirely free of legal entanglements. San Diego Representative Duke Cuningham, for one, has pled guilty to federal bribery charges. Cuningham accepted money and gifts from a military contractor not related to Jack Abramoff ‘s lobbying firm.
When reporters at the press conference reminded Melmen of the Duke’s legal troubles, Melmen took the Cuningham conviction in stride, “This just makes the other 5 congressmen that much more special.”