75% of MySpace Users to be Arrested

(UnitedStatesofAmerica) Now that Lori Drew has been convicted of three misdemeanor counts of gaining unauthorized access to the popular social-networking site MySpace.com, local and federal authorities are setting their sights on the 75% of MySpace users who have also lied in their profiles.

Drew gained notoriety after she pretended to be a boy with a crush on a neighborhood girl. Drew insulted the neighbor telling her “the world would be better off without you” and the girl committed suicide.

MySpace users around the world have been frantically altering their profiles to be in compliance with MySpace guidelines in order to avoid arrest.

Jeff Washington, a 48 year old WalMart employee, has himself listed as a “Nobel Prize Winner” “Champion Tennis Player” and “Oscar Winning Writer”. “I was just trying to meet some decent chicks”, Washington explained. “I didn’t know I could go to jail for it!”

Mary Jackson of Lafayette, LA stated in her profile that she is a “25 year old sexpot, smooth complexion with measurements of 39-24-34. In reality Ms. Jackson is 43 years old, bearded with measurements of 62J-60-75. She says she has no intention of changing her profile because the truth would discourage all but the ugliest men from wanting to enjoy “cyber sex” with her. Police officials have been notified.

Some MySpace users approved of the new ruling. Lori Jacobson, a 23-year-old airline stewardess and one of the few honest MySpace users, told Unconfirmed Sources, “all the men I’ve met on MySpace have been such phonies. Maybe they’ll be honest now that they’ll go to prison for lying!”

Police officials have been requesting new jails be built to accommodate the expected onslaught of MySpace users who will be arrested in the coming months.