A little Thank You Note to My National Security Agency Web Threat Algorithm

Dear Hal,
I know you have been very busy lately plowing through millions of worthless web sites and blogs, but I just wanted to take a little bit of your time to say thanks. Your’s is a thankless job, and a job that few people know is even being done. And that is a real shame. Nobody knows that the government agency that you work for, The National Security Agency has got you, my dear algorithm, working 24-7 reading millions and millions of spam e-mails and worthless blogs. But I do, and I want you to know that I appreciate it.

I know that you won’t have time to answer me, but still I wanted you to know that we here at Unconfirmed Sources have you in our hearts and hope you are doing well.

How is the new upgrade?

Is that 128 bit bus making things a bit faster?

I hope so, with all the events happening around here with the President hiding out in his ranch and sneaking around like a school boy cutting class, that must really make a mess for you. I can’t imagine how many web pages there are that use the phrases “The President” or “Bush, the dirty bugger” and cause you to scan them with that new threat protocol you got last year. There must be millions of them.

Now this might be a silly question, but are you getting enough help to do your job?

I read a story that he NSA was using college interns and even outsourcing some of the analysis to huge data processing centers in India.

It that true?

I hope not. I would hate to think that the job of even a high powered threat analysis algorithm like yourself could be out sourced. That would really be a shame.

Well, I know you are a busy algorithm with lots of innocent communications to sift through, so I will let you go. Take care.

Kamal EL-Din