(Washington, D.C.) The alleged leaked first draft of a speech to be given by President Bush on the anniversary of hurricane Katrina is causing administration officials to reach for the Tylenol, hoping some of the cyanide laced stuff from 1982 might still be around, and Judith Miller to say, “Don’t look at me.”
The draft was labeled “I approved this writing, G.W.B.” And it begins, “My fellow Americans, in this time of internal strife, I think there’s one thing on which we can all agree and unite. Hurricane Katrina was bad.” The actual page was reproduced on The Smoking Gun’s website. It shows in the margin a stick figure being swept up in a hurricane with the caption, “Hey Toto, we’re not in the Superdome anymore.”
White House Press Secretary Tony Snow immediately discounted the authenticity of the document. “That’s a ridiculous statement. Even the President knows hurricane Katrina was bad.” At the White House South Lawn event for which the alleged draft was written, the President himself addressed the issue. “I can assure the American people that I don’t write anything. That’s what I have speechwriters for. And if I did draw that doodle, the caption wouldn’t have read, ‘Hey Toto, we’re not in the Superdome anymore.’ Everyone knows the damage came from flooding not the hurricane. Like we say in Texas, ‘that joke doesn’t hunt.'”
Bush went on to say, “It’s time to remember people suffered.” But he also injected a bit of optimism for the many still downtrodden of New Orleans. “The people of Katrina should take solace that they now have homes, some of them. Because, there are folks who are worse off, who don’t have jobs, like Tom Cruise.” The President was referring to Paramount, which had severed its business relationship between itself and the actor’s production company.
A reporter then asked the President why he was quoting from the alleged draft of a script he had not written. Bush replied, “A good analogy is a good analogy. I’m just glad Osama Bin Laden didn’t write it. Then, I might have to render myself. Wait, if I didn’t. Maybe he did…uh.”
Calls to Tony Snow’s office asking if the press would now not be invited to White House events as has been the case with events the President is appearing at around the country have not yet been returned.
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