New York, NY (APE) – ABC corporate headquarters today announced a last-minute change to its controversial “dramat-o-mentary”, The Path to 9/11. Executives stated that they stand firmly behind the pseudo-factuality of the five hour movie scheduled to be aired this coming Sunday and Monday nights, and that the minor changes requested by the offices of former President Bill Clinton would not be put into effect. They reiterated their determination to broadcast the piece it’s entirety, despite the cited historical example of CBS pulling its controversial four hour movie on the Reagans in 2003, after similar complaints from conservatives.
ABC executives did announce, however, that after advanced screenings, they had elected to insert a brief noncommercial intermission in the middle of both nights episodes, after complaints of the length of the movie from test audiences. Audiences had also complained about the intensity and suspension of disbelief required when viewing the film.
ABC stated that it had elected to air a re-mastered classic Walt Disney cartoon from its parent corporation, Disney productions. Entitled “Swiftboat Bobbie”, the cartoon debuts the character Robbie Rat, who later went on to become Disney’s beloved Mickey Mouse.
ABC executives stated that this was purely their decision, and feedback from over 900 Republican reviewers was overwhelmingly positive for the inclusion of the cartoon short. It was felt that it served as a nice break from the intensity of the film, and a nice counterbalance to the weighty issues considered.