Administration Response In Regards to Libby Accusations on Outing of Valerie Plame: "We All Did It!"


Washington, DC (APE) – Pundits and administration supporters alike were left sputtering yesterday with the release of court transcripts from the Patrick Fitzgerald investigation that revealed that authorization for the leaking of classified intelligence which resulted in the destruction of Valerie Plame’s undercover status with the CIA came from none other than president Bush himself. Common speculation is that this will be the lynch-pin of Libby’s defense, implying that all involved in the incident are absolved of any wrongdoing because it was an executive order that was being carried out. This appears to be a position that the Bush administration has apparently embraced, as a White House aide jokingly put it, “Screw it, We all did it!”

President Bush, yesterday appearing in Charlotte, NC, found himself fielding an unscripted question from an audience member critical of his domestic wiretapping policies. He was largely unapologetic, and insisted that a multitude of lawyers had assured him that his actions were indeed constitutional.

The administration today seemed to take the same tack in regards to the Valerie Plame leak. They insisted, through Attorney General Alberto Gonzales that the President’s and subsequently the Vice President’s actions were above scrutiny because of the simple fact that America was and is at war… but not a civil war… in Iraq.

A White House spokesperson, who wished to remain anonymous, expressed that the administration
anticipated a slow news day on Friday, and had confidence that the issue would dissolve over the weekend by the time the Sunday morning news shows had concluded.

“President Bush is relieved to be free of the burden of the deception that he has had to maintain for a number of years for national security reasons,” said the spokesperson. “While the loss of Mrs. Plame’s undercover status is regrettable, the president is unapologetic about his decision to sacrifice her… this is what great leaders must be able to do without hesitation.”

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales stated that Fitzgerald’s investigation would likely be wrapping up very quickly in light of this new development