50 year old Josh Cranberry, a 24 year pilot for Northwest Airlines, claims that in all his years of flying he has never seen a UFO nor anything even the least bit unusual. Despite his best efforts.
“I don’t understand it”, Cranberry stated in an interview with Unconfirmed Sources. “I spent 4 years in the Air Force then 24 years as an airline pilot and I’ve never seen anything more interesting than balloons, volcanic ash and geese”.
Cranberry and other sources reveal that he has come close to observing UFOs on a few occasions but they mysteriously disappear before he has a chance to see them. Conspiracy theorists claim that UFOs have been toying with Cranberry in an effort to prove they do not exist.
“One time I saw this V-shaped formation below me”, Cranberry stated. “But it turned out to be just a flock of geese”.
Former Dover Air Force Base Commander Joe Worthington said that Cranberry piloted F-16s for the base in 1982 and Cranberry actually tried to intercept a UFO.
“We had an unusual blip on the radar screen”, Worthington said. “I told Cranberry to suit up, follow the thing and shoot it down if he had to. Cranberry was ready in 3 minutes, got the plane running but by the time he left the runway the thing has already disappeared off radar”.
Fellow Northwest Airlines co-pilot Richard Kelb cited another near miss for Cranberry. “One time we were flying over North Dakota and Josh excused himself to take a shit. Can I say shit? Anyway, no sooner did the ‘occupied’ light go on in the bathroom then a huge triangular object started hovering off to our left side. It circled around the plane scaring the living hell out of us. Wouldn’t you know, just as Josh was flushing the thing disappeared at an amazing speed”.
Cranberry remembered the incident quite well. “Yea, I remember coming out of the bathroom and everyone told me what I missed. I was almost banging my head against the wall”.
Cranberry says he will not give up his efforts to see a UFO. “Everyone else has seen them. I feel so left out”, Cranberry lamented.