Newly elected Minnesota senator democrat Al Franken quit the senate this morning saying claiming the job was not nearly as much fun as he anticipated.
“I just wanted to see if I could get elected”, Franken told the media. “I was expecting more pie throwing, mudslinging and good old-fashioned fist fights. But this job is just boring! We sit around all day listening to stupid bills being read. How boring is that?”
Republican Norm Coleman, who was very narrowly defeated by Al Franken, was outraged when he heard of his bitter rival’s resignation. “That slimy liberal bastard!” Coleman shouted, “Just wait till I get my hands around his fat neck!”
A high-ranking police officer, who asked that his name not be used, told the media that if Coleman did kill Franken the homicide would be justified. “He might get 5 years tops”, the officer stated.
Coleman and Al Franken had been in Minnesota’s closest and most hotly contested elections in history with the election being won by Franken by only three votes.
Coleman’s wife Laurie, who was once alleged to have received $75,000 from Houston oil billionaire Paul McKim, was noticeably outraged at Al Franken’s actions.
“Do you see THIS?” she asked Unconfirmed Sources as she stood beside a life size cotton effigy of Franken. “This is what we will do to him!”
Laurie pulled out a large kitchen knife and began stabbing the effigy. She then whipped out a lighter and laughed as the effigy burned.
Later this afternoon Franken revealed that he was only joking about quitting.