Tehran, Iran (APE) – Just one day after the US released an embarrassing video of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi fumbling with an automatic weapon, purportedly captured in a raid near Baghdad, Al-Jazeera , today in Iran, released an undated video of President Bush fumbling the “nuclear football”. A spokesperson for Al-Jazeera stated that Iranian experts had authenticated the video obtained from anonymous sources connected to Al-Qaeda in Iraq.
White House sources vehemently denied the authenticity of the disturbing video. They maintained that the concept of the “nuclear football” had been retired years ago thanks to the advent of “Blackberry” and cell phone technology. Apparently nuclear annihilation is linked to a voice recognition speed dial setup in which the president only has to utter the phrase “nuke” followed by the country of his choosing.
The White House also stated that the faked “fumble video” was further evidence of the technological sophistication still available to Al-Qaeda in Iraq and the degree of desperation to which they are willing to pursue to win over hearts and minds in a war which continues to go badly. They cited the recent convincing performance of a Bush imitator at the annual White House Press correspondent’s dinner. “It’s incredibly easy to find a look-alike actor to portray absolutely anyone in a propaganda video.”
White House sources praised the find of the Al-Zarqawi video yesterday, and stated that it should “go a long way towards redefining the myth of Al-Qaeda’s Iraq connection before we eventually capture or kill him.”