The Al Qaida Terrorist Organization has endorsed George W. Bush for a second term as United States President and Commander in Chief of the countries armed forces. Abdul Bull Durham, spokesman for the Union of Thugs, Dead Enders, Losers and Assassins said, ” Allah be praised, this President has been very good to our Union. First, he paid no attention to us as we planned the 9/11 attacks, allowing us to work in peace. And while he did attack our friends the Taliban in Afghanistan which cost him some of our support, he also attacked Iraq which we were very grateful for. This war removed one of our greatest enemies in the Middle East, Saddam Hussein and the distraction of preparing for that war and occupying Iraq has allowed our leader Osama bin Laden to evade capture for the last two and a half years, so it was a wash there.
” On the up side Mr. Bush, through his toppling of Hussein has given us access to innumerable weapons and explosives and has sent us many American soldiers to use them on. We don’t even need to buy a plane ticket to go to America to kill Americans now and with travel budgets being what they are these days, that’s a real help. Plus it’s just not safe to fly; the right hand doesn’t always know what the left hand is doing and we could accidentally be blown up by one of our own. Finally, on the global front he has done much more than to destroy America’s standing in the world than we ever could have. He has our thanks. Four More Years!”
Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, ” Normally we wouldn’t want the endorsement of the U.T.D.E.L&A., but with the race as tight as it is these days, we’ll take whatever we can get.”