New York, NY (Rotters) – Elusive radical Shiite cleric and presumed terrorist Muqtada Al Sadr yesterday surfaced in New York City and toured several open air street markets in various neighborhoods. His contingent stated that the visit was meant to show to his embattled supporters in Iraq that progress was being made in their efforts to expel American occupiers.
The visit largely went off without a bang but more a whimper as Al-Sadr and his contingent appeared to attract little attention from New Yorkers in the ethnically diverse neighborhoods which they toured.
“Access is not a problem here,” stated Al-Sadr to reporters in attendance. “A jihadi should have little trouble walking freely in any neighborhood in America, Allah be praised.”
Al-Sadr was seen to be dickering with a number of street vendors over prices. A deal appeared to be struck with a man over his entire lot of Rolex watches. Sadr’s security contingent insisted that they were intended as gifts for friends in Iraq, and not for use as timers.
A spokesperson for Al Qaeda in Iraq speaking through the news service Al Jazeera immediately condemned the Al-Sadr visit, branding it as a “political stunt”, and overall damaging to radical Islamic efforts. “They did not show the amount of money and effort that was wasted in order to ensure his safety there. It was not realistic at all, he wasn’t even wearing an explosive vest, in order to avoid detection. This trip was in no way sanctioned by Al Qaeda.”
Dana Perino, spokesperson for the Bush administration, offered a condemnation of the Al Sadr visit as well. “This is just further evidence of a Democratic weakening of America’s resolve that allowed this incident to occur. Perhaps it will serve as a warning to Americans everywhere that the terrorist’s plans are indeed to ultimately follow us home.”