Alabama Woman Endorses John McCain

Marie Ryder, a 67-year-old retired Alabama waitress, confessed today that she fully endorses Arizona senator John McCain to be the next President of the United States.

“I thinks he would do a good job and kill all those commies and fags we got running around”, Ms. Ryder claimed. “Not to mention lesbians, pinkos, nappies-headed hoes and them godless Liberals”.

Ms. Ryder insisted that global warming does not exist and the war in Iraq has been the best thing to ever happen to this country.

“Why should them towel-heads control all the oil?” she asked. “McCain wants to put the oil back into the hands of honest god-fearing Americans where it belongs”.

“And don’t tell me there’s global warming”, Ryder continued. “I was up north in Ohio this past winter and I was freezing my ass off. Tell those global warming jerks to shove it!”

Ryder insists that McCain has both superior domestic and international policies. These have been major factors in her endorsement.

“McCain believes we Americans got it right and they better do as we say or we’ll blast ’em into hell”, Ms Ryder stated in reference to McCain’s international policies. “It’s our way or the highway. Turn them towel-heads into Christians or bomb ’em”.

Ryder also said she would vote for George W Bush is he were able to run again.

McCain was thrilled to learn of the Alabama natives endorsement. “I am so happy that I am being endorsed even by the trailer trash”, McCain stated.