Presumptive Vice-Presidential nominee Sara Palin claimed today that her 17-year-old daughter Bristol was impregnated by God and no boy or Alaskan State Trooper were involved.
“It’s a miracle!” a beaming Palin told the news media. “God himself has impregnated our daughter!”
Palin, an Evangelical Christian, claims that her daughter’s pregnancy was foretold in the Biblical Book of Revelations.
“The Bible said Jesus was going to be reborn at the time of Armageddon and here he comes!” she exclaimed with unbridled enthusiasm.
Palin, who opposes gun control and embraces the death penalty, claims it’s her stand against abortion that allowed the Savior to be born unto them.
Her daughter did not disagree with her mom. When asked if she was carrying the new Jesus Christ Bristol Palin impassively stated, “yea, right”.
Pope Benedict XVI stated from the Vatican that this could be the new Jesus or it could be the Anti-Christ.
“Or it could just be another American kid who got herself knocked up,” the Pontiff clarified.
Fairbanks, Alaska officials were preparing to verify God’s parentage through DNA analysis.