Scientists have determined that the orange goo that washed up in Kivalina, Alaska is actually tiny eggs, most probably deposited from a crashed meteorite or even a UFO.
“It’s certainly nothing from this Earth”, said Snedly Farber, a lead scientist with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration at Auke Bay in Juneau. “These eggs may be from a distant planet with conditions similar to those found in Alaska”.
Farber claims the eggs do not resemble anything found on Earth and they are still investigating.
“We plan on hatching the eggs to see what they turn into!” Farber exclaimed. If they seem to be developing into an intelligent life form they will be destroyed!”
Most people interviewed didn’t seem concerned with the remarkable find. “It looks like most excellent caviar”, said Cecil Rothschild, a real estate billionaire. “Perhaps we can put some on crackers and see how it tastes”.
“I don’t care what it is”, said Los Angeles stockbroker Sall Cummings. “I never go to Alaska. It’s cold up there!”
NASA officials are also taking part of the goo for more extensive studies. “That stuff could come from Mars or Enceladus or somewhere in our solar system”, said NASA Administrator Charles Bolden. “If it is and those creatures plan on taking us over then we can all bend down and kiss our collective asses goodbye!”
Bolden also reminded us that the goo may be just fish eggs.