All but Two Nebraska Children in State Care


All but two Nebraska children have been dropped off at local hospitals this week as parents rush to avoid legislation that would prevent them from doing so.

Parents from around the state have been taking advantage of the newly implemented law which allows parents to leave children of any age at any hospital and ask them to be taken care of.

“Taking care of these kids is a real pain in the ass”, said Nebraska Vice-Grip factory worker Elmo Hudgins in reference to his two children Marcia, 17 and Elmo Jr., 15 “Now my wife and I can start enjoying our lives”.

Many Nebraska parents were seen sipping champagne and celebrating over their new-found freedom. Meanwhile, lawmakers were scrambling to change the law to prevent well-to-do parents from simply abandoning their children.

“The problem is, there are no well-to-do parents in Nebraska”, said Nebraska governor Dave Heineman. “Our wealthiest resident makes $43,000 a year and he doesn’t have any kids!”

Two children in the state have not been dropped off at the hospitals. One of them was 17-year-old Vanessa Johnson of Omaha. Ms Johnson said she makes all the money in the family and would drop her parents at the hospital if she could.

The other child was not locatable and doubts were expressed as to his/her existence.