Washington, DC (Rotters) – In what appears to be a dramatic reversal in strategy from the George Allen Senatorial reelection campaign, Senator Allen, this morning stepped forwards and admitted that he had indeed used the “n-word” in the past, and with some frequency in the present times. He insisted that charges that this has been done in a malicious or racist intent were just “ludicrously false”. He wrote off his previous denials to bad campaign advice, and vowed to set the record straight.
Allen’s reversal comes in the wake of multiple assertions from past friends and acquaintances within the past week, who have come forward to recount their recollections of Allen’s usage of the racial epithet.
Of note, Allen, as well, has recently had to admit and embrace his mother’s Jewish upbringing, of which he insists that he was not aware.
“This really changes nothing,” stated Allen. “If anything, it gives me greater freedom to present the voters my true character and have them decide for themselves. If former President Clinton can admit on national TV that he made a mistake by not killing Osama Bin Laden, then this is a small but significant contribution by comparison to furthering the cause of honesty in politics. To those who have already begun to discount me in this race, I would counter that I have amassed a huge amount of political bling from my constituents in Virginia, and I’m going to cash it in.”