Ann Coulter Denies Sexual Relationship With Terrorist Abu Musab al-Zarqawi

Unconfirmed sources report that right wing sweet heart Ann Coulter had a secret love affair with the recently deceased terrorist mastermind Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. Ann Coulter has denied the charges claiming their friendship had been purely platonic and had never reached the sexual level. Government officials won’t comment on the affair but indicated that ‘documents of a personal nature’ in Coulter’s hand writing were found on al-Zarqawi at the time of his death.

When American troops arrived on the scene of al-Zarqawi’s final stand they found many documents relating to the terrorist’s activities. They also found several letters that are believed to be love letters written by Ann Coulter. The documents also included a picture of the two taken in the recent past in some unknown location and a ‘pin up’ type picture of Coulter along.

CIA officials are said to be looking into the case and have indicated that Coulter is going to have some very serious explaining to do.

“This is total bullshit dreamed up by some communist, Arab, liberal, scum sucking, anti-Christ of a democratic operative trying to smear me.” Said Coulter when asked about the accusations. “These people are just trying to ruin my good name by saying bad things about me. Look, I’m just a regular gal going about my business, I don’t need this kind of controversy. This is just a big distraction that is keeping me from my very important work of educating the crazy people of this country about the evils of fairness, justice and reasoned discourse.”

Experts agree, some times people from very different political backgrounds can hit it off. “I’ve seen it many, many times in my long career .” says relationship expert Hans Brinkenmeyer. “People who seem so different from each other make a connection that seems to defy all logic. In the Coulter al-Zarqawi case it seems easy to believe that they found a common ground in the intensity in which they hold their beliefs. Sure they don’t see eye to eye, but it’s the strength of the beliefs they hold that is the attraction. If you think about in terms of intensity these two are a perfect match.”

No one knows how the pair met or how long the affair lasted, but we expect to learn more in the coming days.