Unconfirmed sources report that Star Wars: Episode III is under going massive re-shooting as George Lucas has decided Hayden Christensen is too much of a whip to play the young Darth Vader. Our Hollywood sources indicate TV personality Ann Coulter has landed the job. “It just wasn’t working with Hayden.” Says Lucas. “We needed a much meaner person to make the role believable. We are just glad Ann Coulter was available.”
“I’m amazed.” Says an unidentified member of the film crew. “She says she has very been in films before, but I don’t believe it. She seems to be made for this role. It’s kind of creepy though, sometimes I get the feeling she isn’t acting at all.”
Die hard Star Wars fans have greeted the news with mixture of shock and disbelief. They just can’t understand how Lucas could fire Hayden Christensen after the film has already been shot.
“I’m shocked” says Kevin McCormick, 32, speaking from his parents basement. “I thought Hayden Christensen was plenty evil enough to be the young Darth Vader. You could see the struggle that was tearing at his very soul. I just don’t see how Coulter can top that kind of raw emotion. I mean sure she is as mean as a snake, but I don’t see her giving the nuanced performance I think the role of the most evil man in the universe will require.
“I know lots of people will scream ‘How could you get a women to play Darth Vader?’ I am prepared for some fans who are just not going to understand the choice.” Says Lucas. “But I think my fans are just going to have to trust me on this one. When people see her in this role they will understand. It was a match made in heaven. This was actually the easiest casting change I have ever made. Trust me she is great in the role. She might even get an Oscar for it.”
The casting change and re-shoots of the film have put the release date of May 19th 2005, into question, but sources close the production say Coulter is doing great and the film will be ready.