AP News: Vice President Britney Spears and Paris Hilton Humanitarian?

(New York-NY) Famous popular fiction author John Grisham, whose mega selling novels include “The Firm” and “The Rainmaker”, says he doesn’t care if he’s remembered 50 years from now. “I can assure you I don’t take myself seriously…enough to think I’m…going to be remembered in 50 years. I’m not going to be here in 50 years.” Oddly enough, George Bush said the same thing in a statement last week, but no one really took the time to report it until now.

(New York-NY) In a related note, Grisham, a staunch Hillary Clinton supporter, went on to say that “I think what the Republicans have done in past elections is brilliant. They’ve convinced a lot of people to vote for them against their own …self-interest… . [They] have…[scared]…scared a lot of people into voting for Republican candidates. It’s skillful manipulation.” Apparently reacting to this, while campaigning in Texas, Hillary Clinton said that if those present didn’t vote for her she would make Britney Spears her Vice President ending with, “and then it’s really going to get jiggy.”

(Los Angeles-CA) Last standing and therefore best by default Presidential candidate, John McCain defended his “United States will be in Iraq for the next 100 years” statement to which both Senators Clinton and Obama have drawn attention. McCain blasted back on “Larry King Live”. “Larry that’s is what I said,” McCain told King. “But when you’re as old as me, 100 years is like 15 minutes.”

(Baton Rouge-LA) Disney “Zoey 101” pregnant teen star Jamie Lynn Spears promises to be a better mom to her child than older sister Britney is to hers, though the mom to be did not deny friends allegations of, “She [Jamie Lynn Spears] drank to get wrecked. She drank to get messed up… .” The younger Spears answered the allegations with, “I’m taking the steps to be a good mom. I’ve already got my kid on the waiting list for Betty Ford, Hazelden and the casting “Celebrity Rehab 2026″ with Dr. Drew.”

(Los Angeles-CA) Paris Hilton means Heiress, Socialite, Actor and Humanitarian? Not according to the LA Department of Animal Services, which is investigated Hilton after she claimed on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” that she had more than 17 cats and dogs as pets. Los Angeles law prohibits any one person from having more than 3 dogs in a non-kennel or breeding environment, apparently another thing of which Hilton was unaware along with the concept of videotape duplication. In a statement released to the web site Jossip.com, Hilton claimed that she misspoke. “What I meant to say was that I had 17 cats and dogs until I had them all killed. I hope that clears things up.”

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