BOVINE, NE — Harold Kluger, Pastor of the Church of the Flaming Sword, in this rural hamlet in Nebraska, is increasing his church’s security. as have many churches thought the country, in wake of the multiple shootings in Colorado last weekend.

” We truly fear things will be getting worse and more dangerous for us good Christians, especially in our churches.” Pastor Kluger observed.

Perhaps unique in his plans, is the training of his pre-youth Sunday School class in the handling of firearms.

” Many of our sweet young kids are urged to pack a gun to their Sunday school class,”said the Pastor.” Following Sunday school, our children go to our shooting range at the rear of our church and learn the fundamentals of operating and shooting a .50 Caliber machine gun.” he explained.

We accompanied the Pastor to the range, where many small kids wearing ear protectors, fired a variety of guns and rifles at paper targets of swarthy-faced devils.

Parents, snacking at nearby picnic tables beamed in pride as several of the “Lucifers” were torn to shreds by their children.

9 year old Dorothy King, surrounded by empty cartridge cases, (See illustration above) blasted away with a heavy machine gun, quickly reducing her Lucifer to a mass of shredded confetti.

Jim King, Dorothy’s father beamed as his daughter fired the weapon. ” Yes, God is Love.” said King, But if someone wants to make trouble here at our church, I am sure that this is what Jesus would want our kids to do!”
“Amen”,said Pastor Kluger, as he squeezed off a few shots with his 9mm. Glock.