ASK Dr. SAWTOOTH- Where is Osama Bin Laden?

We have engaged the services of the renowned Dr.Hiram Sawtooth and his associates who will research and answer your questions.

Today’s question is from “Anonymous” who claims he found Osama bin Laden!

Q: I have found Osama bin Laden. He is working behind the counter at my neighborhood convenience store! How do I go about collecting the $50 million State Department reward? I can’t give you my name or location, obviously.

A: First off, you will have to verify that he is, indeed, bin Laden. Contact the U.S. Department of State Authentication Office at 518 23rd Street NW SA-1 Washington D.C. 20520. They will require that you physically present the alleged bin Laden. Upon verifying his identity, you will fill out and notarize State Dept. Form SR56G7 (Application for Reward). After this is approved (6-8 weeks), you may apply to the National Bank of Afghanistan for payment of the reward money. I have contacted Mr. Hamid Yousef, Director of the National Bank of Afghanistan in Kabul. Mr. Yousef has verified that his bank is responsible for the payment of the reward but, unfortunately, at this time, he says the total assets of the bank are only $US 607.45

Mr. Yousef says he will be happy to put you on the waiting list and contact you when the $50 million is available.