Astronaut Loses Handbag in Space

Astronaut Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper lost her handbag outside the International Space Station when a can of pepper spray inside the bag exploded.

“I always have my handbag with me”, Stefanyshyn-Piper claimed. “I carry the pepper spray for protection from aliens. How was I supposed to know it was going to explode?”

In addition to the pepper spray, the bag also contained her car keys, check book, makeup, hair brush, lotion, toothpaste, wallet (credit cards, personal photos, drivers license, library card, social security card), Kleenex, cell phone, lipstick, makeup, vibrator and jewelry.

“We have warned our female astronauts about the danger of carrying handbags on spacewalks”, said NASA mission control specialist Rick Mastracchio.

Mission specialists pointed out that many astronauts have seen UFOs but none to date have had to defend themselves against attack using pepper spray or any other type of weapon.

“UFOs are highly advanced”, Mastracchio