Attorney General Alberto Gonzales resigns : To spend more time Playing Zelda

(Washington D.C. Ucs News) George W. Bush has accepted the resignation of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. In a statement released to the press Gonzales explained, “Over the Christmas Holiday I was lucky enough to receive a new Nintendo Wii game system. After three months I have decided to resign so that I can focus on improving my high score playing The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess.”

President Bush stood by embattled Attorney General Alberto Gonzales on Wednesday but said he is troubled by misleading statements to Congress about abusing the cheat codes hidden inside The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. He has ordered Gonzales to fix the problem.

Alberto Gonzales has come under fire recently for installing a 60 inch plasma screen in his justice department office so he could play the game system while on “breaks”. According to staffers the “game breaks” started at 15 minutes in January and slowly increased to two 4 hour sessions per day with a 30 minute lunch break.

“Mistakes were made, and frankly, I’m not happy about it, Alberto should have killed the dragon BEFORE jumping over the castle wall on level 16. ” Bush said during a joint news conference with Mexican President Felipe Calderon as he wrapped up a weeklong five-nation tour through Latin America. “Al was right, mistakes were made, and he’s going to go up to Capitol Hill to correct them.”