Barack Obama Makes Surprising Gains Among Former Bush Voters

Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama is picking up support from the most unlikeliest of supporters- former fans of outgoing President George W. Bush. A pair of New York Times/CBS News polls, one taken last week and another taken yesterday, have shown that Senator Obama leads that other guy…uh, John Mc-Something… by a comfortable margin; I forget exactly what it was, since I was watching Life On Mars while I wrote this and had trouble focusing (that’s a pretty cool show) but it was a big one.

The poll, if I didn’t get this wrong, shows Mr. Obama with a consistent lead over Senator Whoever among White women, White men, Blacks, Latinos, Asians, Eskimos, Native Americans (not that Eskimos aren’t Native Americans, I’m not saying that at all, but it was another group name to add to the list just to make it longer), Episcopalians, Catholics, Hasidic Jews, The Klu Klux Klan, The John Birch Society, Baptists, Jamaicans, Latvians, Samoans, most of the population of Ice Station Zebra and all of whatever planets are circling the star Alpha Centauri. However, Senator What’s-His-Name retains a commanding lead in Oil City, Pennsylvania, where he’s ahead by at least two votes.

Although everyone agrees that I put absolutely no effort into this piece, that Republican guy has dismissed the results of this and every other poll that puts him behind, saying that the Latvians in particular are just playing with the pollsters heads and will vote for him as soon as they can remember his name.

And while Senator Who-zit’s choice of Alaska Governor Sarah (How Do I Look?) Palin as his vice presidential running mate was an inspired piece of lunacy, all of the men in the above groups said that they’d rather boink her than Democratic candidate Joe Biden, excluding the Gays of course; still, even most of those don’t find him (Joe Biden, that is) particularly hot.

All this said, time is running short for the Republican dude and I still have fourteen words to write to make three hundred fifty. Done.