Barack Obama Suspends Campaign due to Bank Failures

(Washington D.C.) Ucs News- The Nation woke up to shocking news today. At 8:00 am this morning Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama officially suspended his campaign.

In a brief press conference the Illinois Senator stated, “The Republicans have run our country into the ground. The Administration of George W. Bush has wrecked our economy and trashed our good name.” Obama then admitted “I don’t think that I can fix this mess, John McCain it’s yours.”

While the nation remains stunned, Obama went on to make several clarifying remarks. “The slow motion train wreck is already happening, I don’t think the Democratic party should take control of the government just when the nation is collapsing.”

According to Obama “If john McCain wants to play the part of Slim Pickens in Doctor Strangelove and ride it in, then I say go for it.” If Obama has his way the Republicans will be forced to explain themselves to the American taxpayers while we stand in the financial wreckage the Bush administration created.

Staffers have confirmed that Obama is planning to relax and let John McCain and the Republicans completely demolish the nation. “When the American people can see once and for all that the Republicans are a bunch of idiots, I will try to help.” Said Obama.