Ben Bernanke: 'Economy is recovering'

WASHINGTON, D.C.–Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke held a press conference to highlight the positive economic news that there are more manufacturing jobs this month than there were last month.

“Due to the Federal Reserve injecting liquidity into the financial markets,” explained Bernanke, “manufacturing jobs are now up. We are now manufacturing more than $1 trillion worth of new currency every day at the Bureau of Engraving and Printing.”

To meet Federal Reserve demand for new currency, the Bureau of Engraving and Printing has hired an additional 500 people.

Some cynics have suggested that the costs associated with devaluing the dollar through inflation will render these new jobs as a net economic loss. Chairman Ben Bernanke disagrees.

“Let’s not call it inflation,” said Bernanke. “It is liquidity. No, wait, it is capital. We are injecting capital into the loan market.”

“Of course creating more dollars would count as manufacturing,” Robin Banks, an employee with the BEP, told Unconfirmed Sources. “Why do you think our website is www.moneyfactory.gov?”