A series of confidential emails between United States President George W. Bush and the Chairman of the Federal Reserve, Ben Bernanke were leaked to the press today. The confidential emails were first given by the White House to Republican presidential candidate John McCain for his eyes only, who then forwarded them to his running mate Sarah Palin at her Yahoo account and…well, you know the rest.
A transcript of those emails follows:
Dear Mr. President,
As you know the financial crisis has been deepening almost exponentially and has now threatened to encompass many of the large Wall Street investment and insurance firms. Prompt action must be taken to avert what may become a serious, if not cataclysmic financial event, the likes of which this nation, or indeed the global community as a whole, has not experienced since the Great Panic of 1928 and the subsequent Great Depression.
The introduction of the Treasury’s new purchase facility for mortgage-backed securities, while it will provide critical support for mortgage markets in this period of unusual credit-market uncertainty, may not be adequate to stem the rising tide of systemic fear in the markets.”
Please contact me soonest with your thoughts.
What the hell are you talking about?
Dear Mr. President,
Surely you are aware of the erosion in investor confidence that the government take-over of the mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac has engendered in the investment arena, as well as the government take-over of Bear Sterns and the eighty eight billion dollar bailout of the insurance firm, AIG . Even these extreme measures have failed to restore investor confidence; in addition, I believe it was our refusal to come to the aid of Lehman Brothers and the resulting confusion as to which firms could count on government support that has choked the markets and frozen all lending. We must do something post haste. Please reply with all due speed.
I’ll say it again…what the hell are you talking about and who is these guys, The Lehman Brothers? They sound Jewish.
Tell you what…put the dictionary down and just give it to me straight.
WE…ARE…FUCKED! ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, AND TOTALLY FUCKED!
GET OFF YOUR STUPID ASS AND GIVE ME THE AUTHORITY TO DO SOMETHING OR YOU’LL BE THE FIRST PRESIDENT IN HISTORY TO RETIRE DEAD BROKE. NOT THE COUNTRY, JACK-OFF…YOU!!! AND IT’S LEHMAN BROTHERS, NOT THE LEHMAN BROTHERS! JESUS!
I’m kinda clueless here…just do what you thinks best and send me the speech.