WASHINGTON, D.C.–Bernard Madoff, a certified-expert in ponzi schemes, has been appointed as Commissioner of the Social Security Administration. The bipartisan consensus on the Hill is that Mr. Madoff would make a great Commissioner.
“My strategy was working so long as the Federal Reserve and the government were able to keep the inflationary bubble going, and I was able to get more and more dollars of a lesser value deposited into my accounts. The only thing I was really lacking was a printing press in my office,” said Commissioner Madoff.
“We all know the way the government and the Federal Reserve work, and the entire Social Security
scam system,” said Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi. “So long as Mr. Madoff has the full support of the government’s printing press, he will be able to manage Social Security accounts with expertise.”
“A lot of people think Mr. Madoff cheated investors. Perhaps his case demonstrates the need for reform, by allowing hedge fund managers the ability to print dollars on demand, since it would certainly stimulate the economy as Ben Bernanke himself says,” said Congressman John Boehner.
Many insiders believe that Bernard Madoff could become next in line for an appointment to the Federal Reserve Board of Governors.
“As of right now, I certainly have no interest in becoming a Federal Reserve Governor. But I’ll do just fine with the Social Security Administration, since it has the backing of the printing press. I mean everybody expects to get paid in dollars worth way less than they were when they were taken by the government,” Madoff said.