Bill Clinton Bumps Dick Cheney from Republican Ticket!

Unconfirmed sources report that Dick Cheney will be removed from the ticket and Bill Clinton will take his place. Washington insiders are calling the move another political masterstroke by President George W. Bush. Democrats are shocked by the news but have vowed to put up a spirited fight against their one time leader.

In what is being called the political masterstroke of the century, George W. Bush has convinced Bill Clinton to be his running mate. This is a very shrewd move on the part of The President. Adding Clinton to the ticket will bring lots of swing voters and moderate democrats into the Republican fold. Dick Cheney is said to be the originator of the plan and the one who made the initial contacts with the Clinton Camp.

“We welcome Mr. Clinton to the ticket.” Said White House spokesmen Ben Lion. “The Republican Party is the big tent party. We have room under it for anybody who can help us win the election. Sure, Mr. Clinton has been a burr under our saddle for years, but we are willing to put that kind of stuff behind us for the greater good of the country and the party.”

Veteran Clinton watchers are not surprised by the move. “The Republican party is wide open territory for a man like Clinton.” Said Bob Woodenword. “Honestly, how could a man like Clinton resist the chance to once again be near the seat of power? Clinton is a dynamic man with an ability to confound the political world and he has done it again. Bill Clinton has risen, again, like a political phoenix, into our nations political firmament.”

Clinton’s former fellow democrats are crying foul over the addition of Clinton to the ticket. “This just ain’t right.” Said candidate John Kerry. “Bill was supposed to come and help ME! And besides isn’t there a law about guys like him coming back to be the president again? What will happen when Bush gets impeached and run out of Washington on a rail?”

People have questioned whether the health of the former President should keep him from running. Clinton aids reminded the press that Clinton has had four fewer heart attacks that the current Vice-President, Dick Cheney.