Bill Clinton Presidential Library Set to Open

Documents from the Clinton Era White House have found a home at the new Clinton presidential library in downtown Little Rock, Arkansas, having been moved from their storage area in an old car dealership in the same city. More than 630 tons of documents or some 80 million pages, comprising eight years of the Clinton Presidency will find a home at the Clinton Presidential Center on the Arkansas River due to open November 18th.

A spokesman for the Center, Willie (Billy Bob) Waterhouse said, ” We chose November 18th specifically. It will be nearly two weeks after the Presidential Elections but well before the Florida Re-Counts are over. As you know, the Florida Re-Count Season has become a major part of the electoral process and we want to take advantage of the public’s interest in politics during that time. At the same time, we felt that it would be a mistake to open while the Supreme Court was deciding the election again. You’re getting into Riot Season then and everything gets a little weird.”

Willie Waterhouse’s cousin, Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, “Those bastards are trying to steal our thunder. Re-Count Season is a Republican Holiday, a time when all Neo-Cons who have been good little Conservatives get the president of their choice, sort of an early Christmas present.”

The Bush White House, in a bid to upstage the Clinton Library, has begun to assemble George Bush’s presidential documents. Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of even more anonymity continued, ” We in the White House have been busily putting together at least three note pads, nearly sixty pages worth of documents, that will comprise the total unclassified information of George W. Bush’s first four years. Of course we also have three hundred tons of totally blacked out papers that will be shredded and held in a secure vault for the next thousand years, then made available to the public.”