Black Pixel Shortage Threatens Internet

Black Pixels
Black Pixels

Unconfirmed Sources report that the world supply of black pixels is running out. The shortage is believed to be caused in part by the overuse of black pixels by the websites that use black backgrounds and the overuse of exclamation points. Experts speculate that black backgrounds being rendered with white letters are causing a huge spike in black pixel use. Experts from around the globe are gathering in Silicon Valley to solve the problem.

Bob Jones from Network Solutions explained the situation. “It’s really pretty simple, we are running out of black pixels. There are only so many black pixels out there and when they are gone… We are in trouble. Imagine opening an email and finding it empty because we ran out of black pixels. Our entire information civilization could grind to a halt. This is a very serious situation. We thought we had decades worth of black pixels, but the rendering of too many exclamation points in black several billion times has nearly exhausted the supply.”

Fringe news sites rendering pages in black are putting enormous pressure on the black pixel supply. Add to this the number of black pixels being wasted by email spammers and we could get into some real trouble. Some sites might have to close down to conserve black pixels. We may have to consider rationing if this situation doesn’t improve quickly.

While conservation of black pixels is important there are other things we can do. Many people are talking about using very dark blue or brown pixels to shore up the supply. Still others are holding out for a new discovery of more black pixels or maybe a process will be developed to make them synthetically.

The experts in Silicon Valley have estimated we have a six-month supply of black pixels at current usage levels. They are encouraging everybody to conserve black pixels whenever possible, but not to panic. There have been scattered reports of black pixel hoarding and speculating, but the Internet, in general, remains calm.