Unconfirmed sources report that Bob The Builder has gone missing from his heavily guarded compound in Central Baghdad. Heavily armed insurgents raided the compound last night and fought with Bob’s security forces for several hours. When morning broke Bob was gone and the complex of buildings, located inside the Green Zone, was a smoking ruin. The Iraqi Government and the US Army have mounted a massive effort to find Bob.
The attack on Bob The Builder’s compound could be the bitter end of a job that some say pushed Bob to the breaking point. By all accounts Bob was very optimistic when he arrived in Iraq, Bob is well known for his “Yes we can!” attitude. But apparently things didn’t go as planned from the very start. Our sources indicate he was having all kinds of trouble in his dealings with Iraq Provisional Authority and even his own crew.
“I don’t think Bob saw it coming.” Said Abu Kassim, a local Iraqi contractor who worked briefly with Bob. “He was very upbeat and encouraging to his staff, even when things started out so badly. I was there when he tried to unload his equipment and they refused to come out of the container. Bob tried to be nice, but eventually he had to pull then out with chains hooked to the back of a Humvee.”
“Bob never quite got things moving.” Explained Halliburton spokesman Kellogg Brown. “He was a little too na