Cape Kennedy, FL (Rotters) – NASA engineers today revealed that they had made the decision to “flip” the International Space Station, making it the first prime extraterrestrial real estate to be put on the market in world history. Engineers have been having to deal with a number of problems including a fire, evidence of abnormal deterioration, and more recently an addition which resulted in damage to a critical solar array. Early this morning a Soviet probe docked, bringing aboard internationally renowned Florida contractor Bob Vila who will begin supervising the overall restoration.
“The view is just spectacular,” stated Vila in an interview from the structure. “It’s true what they say in that old joke about, “location, location, location”. This Old House is a beautiful example of postmodern utilitarian construction. It’s a breathtaking collection of eclectic international styles which sometimes don’t really work well together, and we’ll be striving to preserve a lot of that quaint craftsmanship during our renovation.”
A spokesperson for NASA stated that the budget for the flip had been declared a state secret by the Bush administration. “It’s one of those situations where a true and honest figure might actually hurt the market. We already have some definite interest being expressed by the Chinese for a creative type of debt refinance mortgage.”
“For a 10-year old house, we’re in pretty good shape,” concluded Vila. “She’s well constructed and very airtight, no drafts at all. However, we may be looking to modify that a bit, so that the structure is able to breathe a little better. Our power plant is state-of-the-art, but some of the exterior restoration represents a real challenge. Safety, as always, will be our first concern, and we should be able to flip this house pretty quickly, and have it be something that the new owners can be proud of.”