Washington, DC (UPSI) – In a newly declassified document obtained by UPSI under a freedom of information request, it was discovered that the CIA has officially downgraded the ranking of former UN Ambassador John Bolton officially to the level of “putz”. This apparently was well before Bolton’s recently published interview in Der Spiegel magazine in which he declares the recent NIE in which it is revealed that Iran had no nuclear program as a “quasi-putsch” from a group of intelligence officers.
“This is clearly a lack of intelligence disguised as politics,” stated an anonymous CIA spokesperson.
Bolton’s comments to Der Spiegel magazine came in defense of his former boss, President Bush, as the administration was embarrassed by what appeared to be blatant warmongering and lying to the American people in regards to Iran.
“I don’t know what possessed Der Spiegel to even seek out Mr. Bolton,” stated the CIA spokesperson. “We had originally ranked him only as a “quasi-schmuck” as the appointee ambassador to the UN. To retain the level of “quasi-schmuck” would require some evidence of potency. Failing this, we found no other alternative other than to officially down regulate him to the level of “putz”. In response to this criticism of the recent NIE, any fool knows it’s all politics.”
UPSI will released further individual classifications from the document as they are researched and independently verified.