Breaking: International Space Station Rescued

Houston, TX (APE) – A jubilant NASA Mission Control late tonight announced that the International Space Station’s computers had been stabilized and the astronauts aboard were no longer in any danger. Early yesterday, the space station had suffered a complete crash of its onboard computer systems which controlled among other important things, the astronauts’ water and air supplies. NASA publicly thanked Apple Corporation for its assistance in the rescue through troubleshooting of its new Windows compatible browser Safari.

A NASA spokesperson reluctantly admitted that the entire incident aboard the space station had occurred as a result of one of the American astronauts uploading a beta version of the new browser.

“Apparently after they installed Safari, one of the Russian astronauts attempted to upload a Paris Hilton video when the entire system crashed,” the NASA spokesperson. “It was great that the Apple engineers were able to work through the night and come up with a patch for us.”

Apple earlier today issued the patch to the general public through their website. The patch claims to fix over 48 serious flaws identified by enthusiasts over the last few days.

“We’re proud that we were able to be of assistance,” stated Apple CEO Steven Jobs. “We’re also proud of the fact that we’ve been able to respond to the security flaws identified in the Windows version of Safari so quickly. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to go to the internet with the operating system you have and not necessarily with the one you’d like.”