Breaking: Porter Goss to Enter Mayo Clinic for Treatment of Sex Addiction

Washington, DC (APE) – CIA director Porter Goss met with reporters today privately after he announced his resignation as CIA director with President Bush earlier today. He announced to a stunned audience that he would be leaving immediately for the Mayo clinic to pursue treatment for sex addiction.

Goss has maintained all along that he does not remember having sexual contact with hookers that were provided through wild “poker parties” sponsored by Former republican congressman Randall “Duke” Cunningham. When recently confronted with photographs, Goss maintains that it was then that he began to realize that he had a problem.

Goss related that he had struggled with his appetites for prostitutes and borderline Sado/Masochistic activities since first entering the CIA clandestine services, and volunteered that his addiction was almost a work related hazard.

The White House thanked Mr. Goss profusely for his services, and for waiting for the Friday end-of-news-cycle to make his announcement.