Bristol Blames Mom Sarah Palin for Pregnancy


Bristol Palin, the pregnant 17-year-old daughter of Alaska Governor and Republican Vice-Presidential nominee Sara Palin, told the news media today that she had no idea sex would make her pregnant.

“Sex was never discussed in our house”, Bristol told the Alaska Muckraker. “I was told storks brought babies to Christian families. If no one tells me how the hell am I supposed to know?”

Bristol also revealed that sex education, evolution and even basic biology were not allowed to be taught at her school at the insistence of her mother. Sarah Palin also attempted to remove works of literature from library shelves that she considered immoral and contradicted her Evangelical Christian beliefs.

“Mom didn’t want us to know about sex stuff”, Bristol claimed. “If I knew that a man putting his thing in my furbox would make me pregnant I probably wouldn’t have done it”.

Bristol was still unsure of the terms “penis” and “vagina” as such words are not allowed in Alaska schoolbooks.

In a random survey of 1,000 Alaska schoolchildren ages 10 to 18, only 6 of them knew that sexual intercourse led to pregnancy.

“Now that I know I will stop doing it”, said Wasilla high school senior Trent Loftman.