Bristol Palin Gives Birth to Baby Jesus


Alaska Governor Sarah Palin exuberantly announced to the news media last week that her virgin daughter Bristol has given birth to the second coming of Jesus Christ.

“I don’t like to brag”, Sarah said to the Wasilla newspaper The Frontiersman, “but my daughter Bristol never had sex with Levi Johnston and that makes her baby the new Jesus!”

Palin, an Evangelical Christian, claimed that scriptural evidence clearly supports her view that new baby is actually the son of God. “The Book of Revelations clearly says that Jesus will return at the time of Armageddon and deliver all good Christians to heaven for the end times”, she said.

The new Baby, which the couple have named “Tripp”, does not appear to have any remarkable features and looks like an ordinary baby. Palin defended the baby by stating “Jesus didn’t have any powers until he turned three!”

Bristol Palin stated that she and Levi Johnson only had oral sex and she discovered later that oral sex does not cause pregnancy.

“They don’t teach us about sex in school”, Bristol told Unconfirmed Sources.

Pope Benedict XVI expressed doubts about Bristol Palin giving birth to the Christ child.

“Sounds to me like she just got herself knocked up”, the Pontiff declared.