Britney Spears Denies Rumor: "I Dropped Sean Preston for Google!"

(New York–NY) Eight month old Sean Preston’s first words might be, “Mommy, pick up, noooooooooooo!” It seems that Pop Mom Britney Spears has butter fingers, the metaphorical kind in addition to the candy ones. While coming out of New York City’s Ritz Carlton, Spears tripped causing Sean Preston’s head to snap back and his baseball cap to fall off. Both cap and child are fine. But the allegation that it was done for search engine ranking, as posted on, has Spears in a rage

The unnamed source claims to be very close to Spears and goes by the name of Olga the Waxer. “First, Miss Spears don’t like she is hairy. Now Miss Spears don’t like she is fat. And she really don’t like Ms. Jameson gets more searches on The Google. I heard Miss Spears say after I rip off bikini strip and give her a Sonic Corn Dog to ease pain, ‘I can’t believe how much press kid gets when I accidentally missed his high chair.’ Then Miss Spears smile, but not the corn dog smile, but another one. And now this. Is very sad.”

“The Google” to which Olga the Waxer was referring is the fact that Adult Star Jenna Jameson has surpassed Britney Spears in online searches. “That’s absolutely ridiculous,” said Spears publicist Greg Brady, no relation to the fictional Greg Brady. “To say that Britney Spears would drop her baby for more Google hits? She’s a star. Besides, she doesn’t need a reason to drop her baby!”

Eyewitness Village Voice gossip columnist Michael Musto described the event, “At first, she was walking so gracefully. It kind of reminded me of the Hindenburg getting ready to moor. Then, oh the humanity and the jiggle! All I can say is that bodyguard who held her up must have eaten his Wheaties.” However, Musto holds no credence in the item. “Please, it came from a Russian waxer. Reliable? That’s like telling Bob Novak not to give a source.”

After the incident, Spears was seen in a nearby restaurant crying and for some reason using a laptop.

In a related note, Britney Spears posted web stories have increased 5,000 percent, and this is one of them. You decide.

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