Bush 60th Birthday Celebration Nearly Starts 2nd Chicago Fire


Chicago, IL (Rotters) – A downtown Chicago restaurant, ironically named “The Firehouse”, was briefly evacuated last night after President Bush’s 60th birthday celebration nearly touched off a larger fire.

The president was attempting to blow out the candles on his birthday cake, presented by his chief political adviser Karl Rove, when a burst of flames erupted. No one was apparently injured during the incident, and fortunately the restaurant’s sprinkler system was not activated.

White House spokesperson Tony Snow angrily denied that the president had been drinking a little bit to celebrate his birthday.

Chicago fire Department officials were dispatched to the scene of the incident. An anonymous spokesperson for the department joked that the city was fortunate to have been spared another disaster reminiscent of Mrs. O’Leary’s cow. “I think that we’re all very lucky that they hadn’t actually tried to put 60 candles on the cake.” The spokesperson refused to comment further as to the origins of the burst of flames saying only that there was some evidence of an accelerant being involved.

Outside of a few singed hairs, a White House spokesperson claimed that the president was unharmed.

The president is scheduled to kick off his newly revamped public relations working vacation tour during his two-day stay in Chicago. Called the “Bamboozle-Palooza Domestic Guerrilla Warfare Tour”, aides have vowed that the president will wrest back control over the national debate with extended local stealth visits. The administration is gambling that the guerrilla PR attacks in multiple locations focusing on what a nice folksy guy the president is, will distract Americans from the deeds of the administration, and put them back in touch with the man that they elected.