Los Angeles, CA (Rotters) – Upping the ante over a recent Superior court rebuke of the President’s claimed right to hold American citizens indefinitely, the Bush Administration Justice Department ordered the transfer of recently converted celebrity Paris Hilton to federal maximum security until a complete investigation of possible terrorist ties could be investigated.
A spokes person for Heyman Itsmamall (formerly known as Paris Hilton until her recent conversion to Islam) insisted that the charges were totally false and groundless and merely an effort by the Bush Administration to divert attention from its disintegrating Justice Department. “Heyman was being made an example of initially by Los Angeles County, but this has gone too far now.”
Hilton/Itsmimall cited Allah as her source of strength through her spokesperson, and insisted that this was not a “jailhouse conversion” and that she will be able to endure and persevere through her faith.
The Bush administration insisted that it had proof of Hilton’s participation in a USO type performance and visit to an Al-Qaeda training camp prior to 9/11, and stated that it would be able to prove that she was functioning as a sleeper agent.