Unconfirmed sources report more imaginary events are planned in the run up to the presidential election. This week President Bush called the media to a pretend policy address. Instead of an important statement the press was subjected to an imaginative story about Iraqi Freedom and a whimsical tale about job growth in America. The reporters in attendance were then treated to milk, cookies and a brief nap.
The Presidential diversion in Pennsylvania caps off another week of GOP follies. Earlier this week the Speaker of the House Tom Delay brought another imaginary bill to the house floor for a vote. The imaginary bill to reinstate the draft received near unanimous support. After the vote Speaker Delay commented. “We are proud of what we imagine we have accomplished this session. We have been creating an incredible fantasy for the American people and we won’t let the upcoming election stop us.”
GOP staffers speaking off the record are calling Iraqi Freedom an achievement in grand fantasy. Despite the mounting American body count and smothering budgets defects many Americans still think the preemptive attack and occupation of Iraq was a good idea. “This Administration has shown the world what a courageous vision, a little misinformation and the repetition of sound bits can achieve.” Another staffer admitted that, “The partisan media and citizens driven mad by terror alerts didn’t hurt either.”
Not content with the Iraq fantasy, the imaginative Delay and the Bush administration have written and passed many other items of pretend policy this year. The Administrations pretend commitment to Homeland security includes legalizing assault weapons and putting handguns back on the streets of Washington D.C. While the largest drug company giveaway in history has been touted as Medicaid reform. Longtime Washington watch group “Citizens for Reality” has been busying documenting all the tall tales.
The “Citizens for Reality” have been fighting an uphill battle for the passed 4 years. Nation wide polls indicate 32% of the US population believes Iraq was involved in the September 11 attacks and over 90% believe the Medicare reform act will actually help control the cost of healthcare. Speaking from his J Street office Travis Straight the Chairman of the “Citizens for Reality” commented. “I knew that was going to be a busy session when the Speaker Tom Delay made his imaginary friend Harvey the Rabbit the House Majority Whip.”