Bush, Air Force One Make Emergency Stop in Afghanistan

Kabul, Afghanistan (APE) – A visibly shaken President Bush and his entourage made an emergency landing in Kabul Afghanistan early this morning as Air Force One began experiencing significant engine problems. White House sources today stated that the engine malfunction was easily repaired and the president would be on his way tonight to continue his diplomatic trip to India and South Asia.

The White House elected to make the best of the emergency to pay a visit to President Hamid Karzai and the fledgling Afghanistan government which the US put in place of the former Taliban regime. “It worked out pretty well,” stated Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, also along for the trip, “They cobbled together some red carpet and a couple of hundred soldiers as well as an appreciative local crowd, and all at the last minute.”

Bush, along with the Afghan President, gave an impromptu speech to those in attendance in which he thanked the president and the country for their continued support in the war on terror. In his speech, Bush vowed that Osama bin Laden was indeed back on the radar screen and would be caught by someone, somewhere, at some point.

Bush then took the opportunity to meet with Americans Jonathan Keith Idema, Edward Caraballo, and Brett Bennett in a show of support. The three were convicted in 2004 of running their own private prison and torture chamber in Kabul. The three have steadfastly maintained that they were doing the work of the US government and not acting independently.

Caraballo had claimed recently that their lives were in danger in the Afghan prison where he is currently serving a two-year sentence. Speaking with APE reporters by cell phone, Caraballo stated that he was very optimistic after the visit by the president. He stated that he had received assurances that, “the situation is quieting down to the point where we should be able to walk out of here.”

White House spokespersons steadfastly maintained that Americans were not using secret CIA sponsored prisons abroad. At the same time, they did express sympathy and appreciation for the three men and their families and what they have had to go through, and cited them as true entrepreneurs for their efforts in promoting the globalization of the war on terror.