BUSH AND IRANIAN PRESIDENT MAHMOUD AHMEDINEJAD REACH ACCORD

WASHINGTON– Tensions between the U.S.A. and Iran were reduced today, as the heads of state of the two nations reached a tentative accord.
A transcript of the conversation leading to the agreement between the two leaders follows:

( B= Bush, A= Ahmedinejad)

Telephone rings in Iran….

Operator: “This call may be monitored for quality purposes. If you want to buy oil, press 1, If you wish to buy munitions, press 2, If you hate Israel, press 3. If you wish to speak to a live person, press or say four.”

B: “Four”

Op: ” Yeh?”

B: “This is the Leader of the Free World, President Bush. I want to speak to your President, but can’t pronounce his name”.

Op: “I’ll see if I can ring him. How’s your wife?”

B: “Laura? She’s fine thanks.”

Op: ” Moment.”

OP: “Mahm’s on the line.”

B: ” Is that you, President what’s-your-name? This is U.S.A. President George Bush, Leader of the Free World.”

A: “So?”

B: I wanna make a deal with you. We can’t fight a war with you because you’ll cut off our oil and we need oil to run our navy and tanks and stuff.”

A: I’m listening.”

B: “You need food, we need oil…. if you promise that your plutonium and uranium will be used only to make electricity, we can deal.”

A: “Keep talking.”

B: “Give me your promise that you’ll not make nukes, that you’ll send us cheap oil, and we’ll send you rice.”

A: “Sounds good. O.K. you got a deal.”

B: “She’ll be over there tomorrow.”

A: “Who?”

B: “Condoleezza.”

A: ” I thought you said ‘rice’. ”

B: “Yeh.”

A: ( snarling..) ” Bush, you…..”

U.S. National Security Agency: “We’re sorry, but our listening time to terrorist nations is up and we must disconnect this call. If you disagree, press 1……”