Bush and World Leaders 'Condemn' Cindy Sheehan's Protest

NEW YORK, NY — World leaders joined together on Sunday to become “one” as opponents of protests. Showing their solidarity against free speech with President George W. Bush, they issued a declaration of support.

“We condemn utterly these barbaric protests,” said Prime Minister Tony Blair. “Protesting must stop, and I am proud to say that since the London attack which MI6 carried out, we have been able to pass laws allowing us to punish thought crimes.”

Other world leaders said that protesting against one government is like protesting against all governments.

“A protest in one nation is like a protest in all nations. Us world leaders are united in our efforts to stop protests,” said Russian President Vladimur Putin.

“These protests must be stopped, or else our New World Order could fail. We are going to have to get a handle on thought crimes,” said German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder.

French President Jacques Chirac calls Cindy Sheehan’s protest the work of “savages.”

Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin said that “it is time for the United States to take the lead, by banning free speech. As soon as the United States totally bans free speech, I believe other countries would follow that lead.”

U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan said that “protesting is a world-wide problem, and I hope we are able to stop all protests everywhere.”

“While Cindy Sheehan may be testing the resolve of the world community, these barbaric protests will be defeated,” said President George W. Bush.

One Department of Defense official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, “I believe that military action is inevitable at this point.”

On Sunday, President Bush and the World Bank’s Paul Wolfowitz were “mulling options” for a military strike against Cindy Sheehan. Today, it now seems that they have the support necessary from the world community.

President Bush’s top security advisor, Steven Hadley, said, “All options for dealing with Cindy Sheehan are on the table. The most important thing is that Bush’s poll numbers be insured against any further decline.”

Several countries have already offered to lend military support to operations against Cindy Sheehan. There is no word yet as to whether or not the response will be led by the United States or by NATO.