New York, NY (UPSI) – President Bush, in the opening address today at his hastily organized global warming summit in New York City, demonstrated for those in attendance his proposals for a cheaper, cleaner burning, more carbon neutral energy source for the United States. He further pledged to make the new fuel even cheaper as it becomes more adopted and standardized to other developing countries. He praised the Chinese for their efforts at initial development and asked for their continued support.
“The White House has always been aware and involved in the issue of global warming,” stated White House press secretary Dana Perino. “It’s one of the myths that we are attempting to overturn with our conference, and bring to bear good old-fashioned American ingenuity to the problem.”
The White House also announced today that First Lady Laura Bush would be assuming ambassadorial duties and heading for a groundbreaking Middle East peace summit, which will address the Palestinian Israeli conflict as well as seek solutions in the partitioning and redistribution of Iraq as well as Iranian nuclear ambitions.
“Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice just happens to be stretched a little thin right now,” stated Perino, “what with the global energy summit and fall clothing sales in New York.”
In an unrelated, but happier note, the White House today announced that the initial ultrasound results for first daughter Jenna Bush revealed that the president will soon have a grandson. The president was reportedly ecstatic upon viewing the picture, which has subsequently been classified, but registered some slight disappointment when the juxtaposition of the umbilicus was pointed out to him.