Bush Announces new Immigration Plan, Troop Surge and Jobs Program For Iraqis

President George Bush spoke to Americans today and announced a plan to send more troops to Iraq and provide gainful employment to disgruntled Iraqis who are easily recruited by terrorist forces. The new troops will be tasked with apprehending unemployed Iraqis and transporting them to America where they will be employed to defend America’s southern border from the flood of illegal Mexican immigrants. The apprehension and employment of these Iraqi dead enders, killers, and thugs, will allow peace to flower in Baghdad and the rest of the country.

“Now this is a plan that the American people will be able to get behind.” Says Iraqi expert Bert Gibbs. “This plan is truly visionary and marks a real change of the President’s war and immigration strategy. You have got to hand it Mr. Bush, just when you thought he would repackage the same old tired plans that haven’t worked, he comes and changes the whole discussion.”

With the capture, transport, and employment of tens of thousands of Iraqi insurgents the situation in the middle east will quickly settle into a more stable and peaceful area. The program also promises to strengthen America’s southern border. With many thousands of workers cleaning, holding and building border areas the threat posed by Mexican immigrants will be thwarted.

“It’s a real win win for the President.” Says Gibbs. “A peaceful Iraq and a secure southern border? What could be better?”