Bush Apologizes, Dismisses Plame as Tit for Tat

Washington, DC (Rotters) – In an apparent effort to put the sordid Valerie Plame affair behind the administration, President Bush yesterday, after delivering a press conference in the new press briefing room at the White House, felt up the outed a CIA undercover agent and decided the time was right to offer an apology from the administration. Echoing quasi-admissions from his press briefing, Bush again affirmed to Mrs. Plame-Wilson that the career ending leak of her true identity likely did come from unnamed members of his administration, but insisted that there was nothing personal involved, and that it was merely a political game of tit for tat. He then thanked Plame for her years of service in his pleasure.

Apparently stunned by the president’s spontaneous gesture, Plame was left speechless as the president continued to grope for the right words.

Afterwards, Plame stated that she, “felt even more violated” than when the scandal broke in 2002. Plame’s husband, former ambassador Joe Wilson, who was also present, reportedly had to be restrained by the president’s Secret Service detail.

Later, a much calmer Wilson admitted that the president’s behavior had momentarily gotten the better of him. “I suppose that we should consider this progress that he seems to have moved on from his fascination with bald heads,” stated Wilson.

Wilson vowed that they would continue their pursuit of justice and accountability from the administration. “We live in remarkable times in which acts of treason fall rapidly from public notice and are easily overshadowed by interest in all manners of sexual indiscretions and such,” he concluded.